Adding and Deleting

I'm nearing a major milestone in my humanoid life. After being on this earth for as long as I have, you already are a bit weary. In my case I am talking about weary from what you are used to, weary from from what you can't get used to.
This must have been going on in my subconscious psyche as even before I sat down to write this, I've realized I have been making efforts to act on it already. Oh, it is not just me of course, God has been throwing stones at my window too. So what the am I friggin' talking about?
Number one on my list is people. I happen to go around very 'competitive' circles. I hate competition no matter how healthy people say they are. I believe more in striving to be better everyday for your own sake, growth and sanity. But I cannot avoid those people who as if in a car race would just nod their heads at you and you know the race is on. I'm sitting there and saying, "What?". I always just let them zoom away and knock themselves out with the victory. But this victory seems to never be enough and they will always be back on the starting line the next day, ready for another race. They get irritated when you don't want to race and get themselves even angrier at you. Can't you race with someone else? Someone who wants to race with you? OH, but no they just have to race with me. So I went beyond saying no. This year I have also pulled myself away from their racing arena. It is pretty drastic considering that some arenas are quite close to home. But I want my peace so I pressed the delete button.
When I slowly detached myself, a whole world has opened for me. The time I spent being battered and bruised by my 'non-competitors', I now spend with more worthwhile things. I spend more time with my family, invest more in good, old and true friendships and welcome new ones. Facebook is a good thing. You get to say and do things for people that otherwise you'd be shy or inhibited to do. You find out hey, she's pretty cool or he really cares. You also get to edit with whom you want to open yourself to. Once I made a terrible accident of deleting some people from my list of friends. I was entertained by the different reactions, Some just sent a message that said, 'Hey, why did you delete me. Add me again!" or some just sent another friend request. But I did get one 'violent' reaction and she went to the point of blocking me right away and even my husband. Poor thing! She did not even know what hit her and what hit her was a mere mistake by my low-tech fingers. But I am grateful to have gotten to know her more. So - delete it is!
Adding, on the other hand is truly a glorious thing and am forever thankful for each new addition. It can be a new friend, a new job, a writing assignment, learning a new skill, an afternoon of new wonderful memories with friends. I welcome it all! Another good thing about it is, it's boundless. Everyday is a wealth of additions, of blessings. This year has been a gift and wrapped in pretty paper I found new friends; Cinty, Peach, May, Chat, Irene and Step. I discovered new and yummy places to eat. My new favorite foods are yakult green tea, frozen yogurt with granola, blueberries and graham crackers. I'm learning I really love taking pictures but don't have the patience to be too technical about it. I enjoyed traveling with my friends so much this year (I went to Shanghai with high school buddies.) I've decided to do it every year. Add! Add! Add!
So you see, pressing the delete button is actually followed by many add prompts. It's cleansing  even a purging if you want to say that but it won't leave you empty for long.

1 comment:

erwin.navarro said...

Thank you for this Arlene, It's well written and I learned from you, keep on writing!